i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
