I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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