you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
