so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
