you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
