She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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