It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
