Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
