Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
