They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
