It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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