I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
