O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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