It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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