Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
