I love black thongs
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
