I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You just made me feel so damn special
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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