My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
