Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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