i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
