I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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