At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
