mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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