He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
