I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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