I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
