i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
