No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
