yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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