Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
