you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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