its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
