you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
