i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
