I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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