oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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