Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
