there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
