I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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