It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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