seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
