went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
