I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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