For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
