i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
