I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
