what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
