I want to have your abortion
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
