absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
