Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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